Therapy and coaching are great and effective methods as they can lead to an understanding of one's patterns and behaviour. Furthermore, talking therapies can bring a sense of peace and closure on certain issues. Nevertheless, when it comes to intimacy and sexuality, Tantra bodywork is far more effective.
Discussing specific topics - such as improving communication with partners, having massive extended orgasms and experiencing female ejaculation - can only lead so far. Krishna Das, a mantra meditation leader, says: "You can't think yourself out of a problem" - nor can you think yourself to orgasm!
Hands on practical experience is important, as once you've experienced orgasmic states you're more likely to experience them again. You can also show other people how you like to receive pleasure so you can have a similar pleasurable experiences in the future.
Your nervous system doesn't understand words alone, rather it's regulated by differing forms of stimulation such as sight, sounds, taste, touch, and smell. All of these senses can lead you to feel far more pleasure than any discussion or simply understanding sexuality can. Tantra bodywork processes energy, information and speech, rather than just talk therapies which only engage in conversation.
Tantra bodywork is a radical method that changes how your body understands pleasure. Your body provides messages and has its own intuition, however many people don't know how to listen to these messages.
Pleasurable touch facilitates a realignment of your body as Neuro-chemicals including serotonin, dopamine, oxtoxycin and phenylethamine start surging in your brain. Increasing Neuro-chemicals allows a re-wiring of the brain to occur which facilitates the body's internal messaging system to function correctly.
I witness how the body based sessions that I give my clients are a catalyst in them being empowered, energized and in tune with their sexuality. They feel far more pleasure in all aspects of their lives.
Furthermore, many people in today's society are starved of touch. Touch can have lasting impacts on us. We can all remember moments where a hug or a caress changed our mood, especially when the intention has been comforting and loving. Touch is a massive catalyst in people behaving differently.
Touch deprivation affects our sleep, energy, and how loving and kind we are to ourselves as well as to others. It also shows how we are missing out on the more joyous and pleasurable aspects of life.
According to Lynne Forrest, author of "Guiding principles for life beyond victim consciousness".
"The body is the historian of the mind. We keep a cellular record stored in the body of everything we have ever experienced.
We “wear” our history; the body knows and remembers our traumas, our highs and especially our lows, that get replayed over and again through our aches and painful postures. Even our diseases and maladies come out of our history of pain.
There is a Wisdom in the body that knows how to “unwind” these life traumas and restore us to a state of greater health and clarity. Turn to it for guidance in and through the painful archives of your past."
Touch therapies, including tantra bodywork, allow us to tune into the guidance of the body. Tantra massage facilitates the intuition of the body and improves how we communicate with ourselves. Having tantra bodywork is a great act of self-love. It can release the traumas your body holds onto thereby reducing the amount of pain you feel while increasing the amount of pleasure.
My clients find that the body responds and then the mind follows, not vice versa, which is why many of them point to the fact that tantra massage has led to lasting positive experiences far quicker than the time spent in therapy/coaching.
The benefits they list include:
· Increase in energy and libido
· Better relationships with intimate partners due to a resulting improvement in how they communicate what type of touch they desire
· The establishment of better boundaries and the ability to communicate boundaries in their relationships
· A greater ability to receive one way touch so they don't have to give back - as a result they feel no pressure to perform
· Deeper appreciation and love for themselves
· A sense of their thoughts, feelings, emotions and behaviour now feeling in unison
· Being conscious and increasing their ability to respond, rather than being reactive
· Better sex and orgasms
Firstly, there are benefits to having a session with a female, as that can aid sensuality and intimacy. Nevertheless, if the client is a heterosexual woman and she wants to improve her relationships with men, then having a session with a man can be a greater catalyst for improving this dynamic.
For example, one of my clients had her boundaries violated regularly by her previous male partner. During our sessions, we focused on her communicating her no and I honouring it. As a result, she now feels that she has re-established her boundaries and that she is heard in her relationships. She believes that such an experience wouldn't have occurred as quickly with a woman practitioner.
Furthermore, sessions utilise sexual energy being generated and expanded, and if the client is heterosexual than such a connection is more likely to occur with a man (assuming he is also heterosexual). A person's body is not a machine, with certain buttons being pressed to generate a response, rather the practitioner is a catalyst for channelling sexual energy; moving such energy into different regions of the client's body can provide a huge amount of healing and expansion.
Rather than the gender of the masseur/masseuse being important, the paramount question is 'does the person giving the massage have a clean, clear, feel to them?', as that's how the energy moves through without attachment.